Throughout this creative process, I have been asking myself the same two questions over, and over again: “What speaks to me?” and “What do I want to speak about?”. Well, ever since I portrayed Dr John Seward in a production of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. His fascination with the insane – namely from his relationship with the neurotic Renfield – has since rubbed off onto me. I find myself wanting to explore the criminally insane, and although I am no scientist, I knew that if ever given the chance to do so, I would devise a piece of work focussing around this enigmatic matter. Having established my desired medium as the art of spoken word poetry, and using my inspirations from gothic literature and Hannibal Lecter to lead me down the route of serial killers; I now find myself with opportunity to realise one of my artistic fantasies, the causes of severe criminality and serial killers and the links they have to childhood trauma.

However, I am aware that in order to do this, I must focus my inspirations to a specific serial killer, so that I might still be able to adhere to the narrative style exhibited by Edgar Allen Poe. In addition, I will be able to use this case study in conjunction with the character Hannibal Lecter, to help create my alter ego for the show. I want to incorporate the physicality of Hannibal Lecter, his hushed vocal tones and the intensity of his piercing eyes. Indeed, most of the physical aspects of my alter ego will come from Hannibal Lecter, however, I will be using the real life of my case study serial killer, to help me create the narrative structure that I desire with the poetry. Now, there was a part of me that thought I was getting too bogged down with the semantics of the show, that I hadn’t actually began morphing the text of it. However, convincing my self that, without the thematic concerns being addressed properly – especially the idea of an alter ego intertwined with my own personality – wasn’t difficult, as in order to tell a story you need someone to tell it. I certainly cannot tell the story of a serial killer, as unsurprisingly I don’t have any experience in the matter. However, it is not unusual for serial killers to have normal childhood, until one traumatic experience alters their development, skewing them onto a more demented path. My goal was now to find such a case study, in order to fabricate myself an alter ego that can relate to both me, and the serial killer in question.

Having searched for serial killers who could fit the profile for my show, I came across one that was as intriguing as it was disturbing: Ted Bundy. Despite being a prolific serial killer, targeting young women with brown hair; Bundy was a charismatic and politically minded individual. He graduated from Washington University with a degree in psychology, and seemed to everyone who knew him a normal man, as he explains in this video:

 ACCESED FROM YOUTUBE, triplexchurch : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlk_sRU49TI

However, the purpose of my show is to illuminate the fact that, although we may not care to admit it; we have more in common than we think with these people we label ‘monsters’, and although it is true that psychopaths do not have the ability to empathise as ‘normal’ human beings do, and the crimes they commit are truly horrific and need to be prevented at all costs. It is also true they show no real compassion and understanding of another’s struggle: I want my show to illuminate the fact that psychopathy, although often a trait shared by serial killers, is a personality disorder like any other, and should be seen as a health matter, not a criminal one. To achieve this, working on the text for my performance, I attempted to weave an underlying message throughout my script, with the intention of showing a psychopaths humanity, with a repeated verse of an existential nature.

I experimented with certain lyrics that I thought might be worth repeating throughout the show to deliver this message, much like Edgar Allan Poe’s “Nevermore”:

“I was born inside the torn goodbye of another woman scorned”

“Did I die my own creator, or does creation itself meet its maker?”

“The last look into the looking glass, to shake the crook who shook the last”

“Thoughtless and feelings barren, the gaunt look of reflections challenge”

“As life is lost at least for me, I’ll take yours too, yes you, with glee”

However, these lyrics proved to be unfruitful, as although I had decided that my poem was to be a narrative driven one, I had not yet decided on what exactly that narrative would be. The next step in the process, before I could actually go any further, would be to use what I had already had thematically, and use that to begin to create the narrative for my poem. Once the narrative had been roughly etched into my mind, I would then be able to begin the articulate process of piecing my poem together lyrically.